What is a trauma loop and how do we navigate self regard amidst the pressures of society? Another conversion disorder blog series post where I narrate the inner dialogue of anxiety, attention, and shame when I tried to hide in the bathroom attending a friends wedding. Is faking wellness really helpful or is it harmful?

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to go back to the future? I’m no Marty McFly (as played by Michael J. Fox, in the 1985 sci-fi classic) but I feel like I have been given an opportunity to rewrite my history in a way that makes all the suffering almost sensible. I bring to you the unearthed blog articles I wrote while in the peak of mental illness. A raw description of pain, humor, reality and heartbreak as we navigate the depths of conversion disorder, C-PTSD and the gaslighting world of the mental health industry.

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I haven’t craved a cigarette in over 14 years. I quit my pack-a-day habit when I was 26 years old and thankfully never looked back, until Tuesday last week.

After attending a womb healing workshop, I take you through the journey of how self hate is sneaky when it comes to healing trauma and how to effectively navigate it when it comes up. Connecting generational shame to my menstrual cycle unearthed my low self-worth, allowing me an opportunity to regulate my nervous system and find grace in trauma integration.

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My body was scared and shut down and my brain was hurt because my physical and emotional body had been deeply hurt. ⁣I was desperate to be loved, to be cared for, to be heard and seen.  I felt undeniably unworthy of love and hated myself with such a deep distaste that it is shocking to recount for you right now.⁣ Every emotion, fear, or perceived threat to my wellness triggered me into a state of seizures. 

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When we step into judgment of a situation or person, we feel like we solved a problem in our head and a sense of relief for resolution happens. It is immediate for the most part. However, this judgement on what we do know for sure (which is in fact, nothing), inhibits our evolution.

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Trauma-informed Coaches have a working understanding about what trauma is, how to define it, and how to understand and recognize survival behaviours and personalities.  There is a clear understanding of the presence of trauma in the coach-client relationship and how to approach the present and the future with directed trauma-informed self-inquiry and goal setting, while being sensitive to context.

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How do you know when it’s time to say NO to everything you built around you? It took me a hot minute to realize my loss of self, but when I did, miracles happened.

Have you ever seen a Medical Medium before? Monica Krake from Head + Heart shares her experience with Trauma-informed coach & Healer Lea Morrison, and why you should give it a try.

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I was too scared to open my eyes, immediately hyper aware of every sound in the apartment. I could hear his breathing go shallow, I swear I felt time stand still and I could feel his every thought move through his head.

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Our emotional response to this past year is significantly influenced from any triggers we've had from past traumas/distressing events that may have been left unaddressed. Anger, fear, shaming of responses from others AND ourselves, are perpetuating trauma triggers that we may not even realize we have.

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Opinions of my life. Rumors spoke behind my back. Impressions that I made without intention. All of this language spins in my head like a hamster wheel. Running from the words, but inside of them at the same time. Reverberating lack and pain. Finding comfort in reminding myself that I’m not good enough.

You can’t argue with it. There is no ego involved. There is no judgment. There is just understanding & compassion for what is best for you. Truly best. With a loving smack upside the head sometimes.